


your touch (it's addicting like that)

by niigoki



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, Fluff, they love each other but Yongsun is fucking dense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 14:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11382210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niigoki/pseuds/niigoki
Summary: It starts small; a hand touch here and there, smiles, giggles, the way she stares, the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs at something you said or did, the way she— She. Byulyi went from a star in your sky to the whole galaxy in which you reside.





	your touch (it's addicting like that)

**Author's Note:**

> yes hi, remember when i promised never to write for a kpop group ever again, well i lied because these two are fucking married and i'm WEAK. Enjoy, please leave a comment and kudos!!

It’s addicting. Like chocolate, or dancing to your favorite song all alone at home, or being in front of the cameras with thousands of people chanting for you.

It starts small; a hand touch here and there, smiles, giggles, the way she stares, the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs at something you said or did, the way she—

 _She_.

Byulyi went from a star in your sky to the whole galaxy in which you reside.

You breathe – try to – and close your eyes, exhale, and when you open them again she’s still there. She was there when they were closed, and she’s even brighter now that you can see. You know this feeling so well, you’ve felt it before, but it was never this _intense_.

You find yourself craving her touch. More.

More.

And she seems to know exactly what you need, because when you’re about to make a move, she’s already there. Byul hugs you from behind and lifts you up, walking with you backstage and you’re laughing because she understands you so much, you could cry.

 

\---

 

You know you overreact when she flirts shamelessly with you in front of the camera, but that’s because you wish it was real. Maybe some part of you believes it is, and you can’t expose yourselves like this in public, so that’s why you yell and smack her.

The both of you are alone at home, but you’re feeling so exposed with that damned cellphone filming your every move. _This is for the fans_ , you think to yourself, but Byul apparently doesn’t give a damn.

“Byul actually approached me first.”

“Because you were so pretty.”

Your heart soars.

You still slap her, though.

 

\---

 

It’s so cold today and you’re so nervous. It’s always a hard time when you’re performing a new song for the first time, but you try to walk with confidence. The studio is a bit warmer than the van outside, but it doesn’t mean it’s comfortable.

It takes _one second_ from the moment you rub your arms.

You feel an embrace from behind.

“Better?” Byul whispers in your ear and you shiver.

“Yes,” Your voice is weak, so you clear your throat, smiling to break the tense mood. “Where did you even get this coat?”

“I materialized it with the power of love,” You’re ready to punch her when she giggles, and you feel your strength vanish at the touch of her hands on yours. “Also, Manager unnie gave it to me.”

“Make yourself useful and go grab me one, then.” You wish you had the guts to stop lying to yourself, to turn around and fully embrace her warmth and melt into her, but you can’t.

“Yes, ma’am.” And with a gentle squeeze in your hands, Byul lets you go. She doesn’t walk away, however, but instead takes off her coat and gives it to you. And it’s so damn greasy, the way she does that, but you can’t help but to fall more and more each time.

“Really?” You scold her, but you’re thankful nonetheless.

She just smiles dumbly at you for a split second before making her way back to grab another coat for herself.

You stare as she goes, but Wheein’s voice eventually snaps you out of it.

 

\---

 

“I like you!” Byul says and your heart stops for a second.

Then you remember you’re acting.

You’re glad you are so good at lying to her face now. Maybe that’s why you’re such a good actress in the first place; you’ve just been pretending all this time in front of the cameras, anyway.

“Let’s break up,” You say, dramatically as you turn away.

“No, let’s not!” Byul laughs and goes in for a hug. You push her, too afraid she’ll feel your heart beating like crazy. Then she just grabs your hand and places a kiss on the back of it, and it does nothing to calm your nerves.

“Okay.” It’s all you can say. She seems happy that you didn’t break up, after all.

 

\---

 

They’re about to call you to the stage. Oh god, they’re about to call you, and your head is suddenly blank, and you can’t read your card because being an MC is way too hard and you’ve never done this before, and there are so many people in there today, and the biggest names in the industry are there and will judge you, and who is Solar anyway, why is she even important, why are you even there, there is no reason at all for you to even be speaking right now, _no one knows you_ —

Moon Byulyi grabs your hand.

“You’ll do great.”

Your mouth is dry and you just stare at her.

“And now we’d like to call to the stage, Mamamoo’s Solar!”

Byul smiles and nods encouragingly, and all of a sudden, your problems are gone.

You do great.

 

\---

 

Sometimes – most times – you forget she’s just a girl, too. She’s not as strong as she makes her out to be, and it _baffles_ you how fragile Byulyi truly is.

She throws her pen across the room, sighing exasperated. “I can’t do this.”

You’re at home with her (when did she start coming over so often?) and you take off your headphones, worried. Walking over, you sit down next to her girl on the couch. “That pen is expensive, you know?”

It’s such a terrible time to crack a joke, but she smiles at you nonetheless. “It’s not.”

You breathe out a small laugh. “Yeah, it’s really not.” Then there is silence again and you shift closer. “What’s wrong?”

“These lyrics. I just can’t— the words just won’t come.”

You nod, understandingly. Not being able to compose a rap is one of the most frustrating things in the _world_ to her, and you know that. Since she’d been denied the privilege of being a main vocal, she’d always felt the need to compose songs twice as good as anyone else. You wish you could tell her that you think her voice is beautiful everyday for the rest of her life, but you lack the courage to do so.

You are such a coward.

“How about… we take a breather and do something else for a while?”

Byulyi doesn’t move for a moment and you’re afraid you said the wrong thing. Soon, she lets her head fall on your shoulder and nods, still pouting.

“’Kay.”

You can’t help but to smile and almost press a kiss to the top of her head. “Good. Let’s watch a drama.”

 _Now_ she laughs.

“I thought you didn’t watch dramas.”

“But you do, and it’s the best way to distract you from work.” You reply, reaching for the remote. It’s nice to feel like you’re taking care of her once in a while, and you can almost pretend you saw her cheeks redden a little bit.

“There are other ways to pass the time, you know?” She lies down on the couch, propping her head up with one hand and a smirk.

And it almost – _almost_ – escapes you, but you bite your tongue before saying something that would destroy everything you’ve worked so hard for.

“My house, my rules.” Is all you say instead.

Byul giggles again, but gives up. So you turn on the TV and now the both of you are nestled together watching a dumb drama again (one of your favorite hobbies, really).

“Doing anything with Yong-donnie is fun, anyway.” Byulyi says 40 minutes into the show and you almost choke on your tea.

“Ahh, what’s with you??” You argue. She laughs harder and hugs you tightly.

You want to roll your eyes, but the way you feel in her arms is so good.

And you just…

Love her.

 

\---

 

There are times you argue, badly. And it’s over the smallest stuff, too. Hwasa and Wheein are used to it, so they don’t pay much attention to your senseless arguments anymore; it’s even harder since the two of you have a matching personality.

That means: two incredibly stubborn women.

“Do what you want!” You say, turning away and leaving the room. You slam the door, aware of the consequences, but too upset to care. There are times you want to cry in frustration, but you’ve been learning how to control this urge. Right now, all you want is to not see her dumb face.

That dumb smile you know she’ll give you once you’re over this.

The dumb way her nose wrinkles when she’s happy.

The dumb way she apologizes, with the sweetest of words.

Her dumb—

You sigh in frustration.

Goddammit, you miss her already. But you’re not giving up.

You wish you weren’t like this, but pride had always been in your blood.

At night, when you’re all alone in your room ready to go to bed, your cellphone screen lights up. And it’s a bit pathetic how quickly you jump on the mattress to see if it’s who you think it is.

_“I’m sorry.”_

It’s simple, to the point, and maybe to some people it wouldn’t have meant anything, but you know her, and you know how hard it is for her to apologize first. So your heart melts as you read the words over and over again, and you turn on your back, typing.

_“Me too.”_

Your reply is just as simple and you – oh, boy – actually hug your phone close to your heart. What kind of romantic sitcom are you living right now?

When it vibrates again, you lift it up, and smile at the screen.

_“Love you, Yeba.”_

Your dreams are light and fluffy that night.

 

\---

 

The moment you see her again two days later, you feel an uncontrollable urge to touch her. Anywhere, everywhere, you just need to be with her somehow, somewhere, you can’t—

“Yongsun-ssi!” She smiles brightly as soon as she spots you and your heart melts.

So you jump into her arms.

She catches you, obviously.

“What’s this?” She asks, laughing, genuinely surprised. It’s rare that you’d indulge her in physical contact like this. You should do it more often.

And you want to say you missed her, but it’s only been two days for god’s sake.

“I’m hungry.” You mumble.

_Liar, liar._

“Let’s eat then,” Byul says with softness in her voice, like she knows you’re not being honest, but respecting your motives either way.

It takes a while for you to stop hugging, though.

 

\---

 

It’s on the small touches, the gestures that show you she cares more than the average person, the jokes, the way she helps you through everything, the way she is around you, with and without the cameras.

And all of this has been going for _years_ , and your heart got to a point where it just can’t take it anymore without exploding.

Soju helps, too.

“Drink some water, Yeba.” Byul says next to you when you drink your sixth cup of Korean alcohol.

“I’m a grown up,” Your words come out a little slurry, so you put more noodles in your mouth to pretend it’s just the sauce. “I can drink water whenever I want.”

“I know you can, so do it now.”

Since you’re weak for her, you do what she tells you anyway. Hwasa and Wheein are sitting across the table, laughing at stupid things and trying to come up with more dumb jokes to their newest song. It’s clear they’re drunk too.

“Ahh, when did I become the responsible one??” Byul complains and takes away the kids’ cups too, replacing them with water.

“Byul unnie the responsible one? We could put that as a joke in the song.” Hwasa teases and Wheein almost spits out her food.

“Please write that in your rap!” Wheein manages to say in between laughter and the youngest hits her shoulder, crying from smiling so hard.

“Should I write a line about drunk babies?” Byul responds with a smirk and you catch her expression at that moment and it’s so sexy, god forbid.

“Solar-ssi, please close your mouth when you eat.” Her voice fills your head and she’s suddenly looking at you, and you were _gaping_ , how embarrassing. You could swear she was giving all of her attention to the other two, but as always, she was subtly noticing you.

“Then stop being so distracting.” The moment the words leave your mouth, you freeze. Thankfully Hwasa and Wheein didn’t hear a word you said, but _she_ did, and that was what you feared the most.

Because she knows you too well to understand the meaning behind your every word and action.

And this is exactly why she pretends she didn’t hear.

“Finish your noodles, these kids need to be tucked in bed.” Is all she replies with a gentle smile and a rub in your arm. And you’re so thankful to her that you could cry.

But also, a little disappointed.

 

\---

 

She actually _carries_ you upstairs after that, and you feel defeated. You’re just so tired and dizzy at the moment, so you give up trying to argue your way out of this shameful situation. Not that she minds, she’s always taken care of you in any circumstance.

“Here we go,” Her voice sounds so far away despite being as close as possible. One of your arms is looped around her shoulders and she opens the door to your living room. Ever so carefully she drops you on the couch. “Don’t move, I’ll grab some medicine.”

“Ha-ha.” You deadpan weakly. Like you could actually move.

She returns with the pill and hands it to you with a cup of water. After swallowing the damn thing you sigh, and she rubs your back.

“Really, you should be more careful.” Her voice isn’t stern, like she’s scolding you, but soft and warm. You want to say something about her being at fault for this whole mess, but you can’t bring yourself to. It’s just not fair.

“…Sorry.” You mumble instead and fall to the side, burying yourself in her. You’re just too tired to care.

“Unnie, you can’t sleep here.” Byul giggles.

“My house… my rules.”

She rolls her eyes and shifts, getting up. You grunt, missing her warmth, but she just kneels in front of you. “Come one, hop on.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll take you to your room.”

It takes a moment, but you eventually realize she’s asking to piggyback you. Biting your lip, you wrap your arms around her neck and she lifts you up. Despite her petite stature Byul is pretty strong (stronger than you, anyway), so it’s no problem carrying you like this.

By the time you wake up – did you actually _sleep_ on her back? – you can see the first lights of dawn through the curtains of your room. A look at your clock tells you it’s barely 5am, so you grunt and turn to the other side, hitting something in the way.

Your heart nearly stops.

Byulyi is lying in bed with you, close – _really close_ – and breathing softly. Her eyelashes are fluttering, her half-parted lips unmoving, her chest going up and down with the sound of her breathing and you—

You can feel tears in your eyes.

It’s not fair.

The world is not fair, this life of yours _is not fair_.

The fact that—

That you’re in love with this idiot, this amazing, lovable, incredible, caring _idiot_ —

Who would go lengths for you, who has shared more secrets with you than anyone else, who has looked after you with so much love and care, who flirts with you every single minute of the day because she loves to see you flustered, who tells you you’re pretty frequently, who hugs you when you’re scared, who squeezes your hand in public when you’re anxious, who makes it her life mission to make sure you’re the happiest you can be—

You love her so much, and it grows each day, and _how can you deal with this_ —

A hand cups your cheek suddenly, wiping away the small tear there.

“Nightmare?” Byul asks, her voice hoarse from sleep. She was barely awake, and still her first instinct was to make sure you were safe.

It just makes you sob harder.

“Hey… come here,” She pulls you in and you don’t fight it. Her arms are around you and you tangle your legs, taking all of her in. Her scent, her softness, her voice, the sound of her heartbeat. You’re so close you could become one right there (you wish you could).

She tangles her fingers in your hair and rubs slowly, humming something quietly.

Her voice is so beautiful.

 _She should be a main vocal_ , is one thing that crosses your mind for a split second, before you finally break down.

“…-ve you.”

“Hm?” She stops caressing your hair. “Did you say somethi—”

“I love you.”

You finally let it out, and you think that if this is the way you die, then you’re happy. There is no turning back now, but at least you were honest – the most honest you’ve ever been in your life. Really, you thought it would be a lot harder to say these words; maybe it was just the anxiety of it being at the tip of your tongue for all this time without actually being said. It’s weird, how her arms feel the same as always, even after your confession.

The world didn’t change all that much, and you’re still living in it. Everything is just a little bit… lighter.

You hear her giggle drowsily. “Love you, too…”

You’re not sure what she means by it, but it seems filled with relief and happiness – maybe she thought you were just mumbling in your sleep, but it doesn’t change the fact that she heard you.

“Good.” You mumble back, sighing happily. You bury yourself even more into her and she brings a hand to your scalp, massaging it softly – _soft_. Moon Byulyi is soft.

The last thing you feel is a kiss pressed to the top of your head, and then you sleep again.

 

\---

 

The cars are loud on the street when you wake again, so you know it’s late. The warmth that was around you in your sleep is gone, so you frown, shifting. Little by little, the words that came out of your mouth in a half-asleep state are starting to come back to you, and now you’re terrified that when you open your eyes, Byul won’t be there anymore.

That you scared her away.

Biting your lip, you’re finally brave enough to take a peek.

And what you see is Moonbyul staring at you with the dumbest smile in her face.

“Hey.” She says lowly, almost a whisper. Her head is propped up in one hand and the light coming through the window is shining directly in her hair – she looks ethereal. You wonder if you’re still dreaming.

“Hi.” You reply in the same volume, testing the waters.

“Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” She can’t stop staring and you smile despite your fears. “What?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re smiling.”

“I am.”

“Really hard.”

“Yes.”

A silence follows and when her nose wrinkles you know she’s about to laugh. When she does, you can’t help but to join in – god, that’s got to be the most beautiful sound in the world.

“What??” You ask again in between laughs. She laughs more at that, then flickers her gaze to your lips when she calms down.

“You love me,” She says, dumbly. For a second your stomach _drops_ , but then her expression tells you all you need to know.

“And you love me too.” You reply, unable to pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about. You two are in too deep in this whole thing to back down now.

“I do,” Byul finally moves, latching herself into you and wrapping her arms around your torso. “I do,” She kisses your cheek. “I do,” Then your nose. “I really do.” Then your chin.

“Yah, I get it, I get it!” Your words don’t match your actions, because you’re pulling her on top of you and your heart is fucking soaring. There is not a single thing in the world that could make you move from this position right now, and she just let all of her weight press down on you, kissing anywhere reachable; little pecks on your neck, your shoulder, your jaw, your ears, your nose and cheeks again, because she loves them.

“You’re dumb.” You mumble against her shoulder, not letting her go, ever.

“ _I’m_ dumb? Took you long enough.” Byul replies, laughing.

This time you roll your eyes, because she’s right. You stay in silence, absorbing everything that just happened. What does this mean now? You like – no, _love_ – each other, and you don’t know what happens next.

So you ask.

“Now what?” You sound like a teenager and you can’t stop smiling for the life of you. Byul doesn’t say anything for a moment, then she lifts her torso to look at you. Her eyelids are heavy with a feeling and you know what’s going to happen before she even speaks.

“Now,” Her lips brush against yours as she lowers herself down. “I do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

At that point, you’re certain that that was the only time in your life her greasiness made everything better. The kiss is everything you expected it to be, and nothing like you ever felt at the same time. You bring one hand to the back of her neck and another to her cheek, moving in tandem with her. And you think that maybe you’ve wanted this for a lot longer than she has, because you poke your tongue out to brush against her lip first, and she deepens it automatically.

You kiss her for a long time.

And when you’re done, you kiss her again.

“Thank god it’s a day off,” Is the only thing she whispers against your mouth before kissing you again. You don’t plan to leave your bed for the rest of the day.

Like chocolate, or dancing to your favorite song all alone at home, or being in front of the cameras with thousands of people chanting for you; Moon Byulyi is addicting like that.

But more.

**Author's Note:**

> BACK IN MY DAY WE HAD TAENY AND THOUGHT IT WAS THE PINNACLE OF GIRL GROUP LESBIANISM, KIDS THESE DAYS HAVE IT EASY WITH THEIR MOONS, AND THEIR SUNS, AND THEIR MAMAMOOS


End file.
